Nui and Trichotillomania (Indonesian)

Hello, world! It’s World Mental Health Day!

image from https://wfmh.global/

Untuk sedikit berpartisipasi, gue mau cerita-cerita sedikit soal sesuatu yang tadinya gue gatau kalo ini adalah masalah kesehatan mental. Yes. Gue ga pernah nyangka kalo kebiasaan buruk gue ini ada “namanya”. Gue ga pernah pergi ke psikolog atau psikiater sih. Jadi sebenernya gue juga bisa dibilang self diagnosed and actually, it’s bad to do this. Don’t follow me on this. Gue ngerasa ini ga terlalu mengganggu keseharian gue sekarang. Jadi, kalau kebiasaan buruk kalian udah mengganggu sampai pada tahap membahayakan diri sendiri dan orang sekitar, please, seek for help! That’s my disclaimer. Oh iya, mungkin tulisan gue ini BISA JADI trigger juga buat beberapa orang. So, stop reading if you find this disturbing.

What is Trichotillomania?

Definisi yang diambil dari web NHS :

Trichotillomania, also known as trich, is when someone can’t resist the urge to pull out their hair.

Kalian bisa baca-baca di sini juga lebih lengkapnya >> https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/trichotillomania/

Yeah, trichotillomania adalah kondisi dimana lo suka mencabut rambut dengan sengaja dan lo gabisa berhenti dengan sendirinya. Kaya ada rasa puas gitu. Aneh ya? Permasalahannya ada ketika lo sadar kalo rambut lo tiba-tiba hilang banyak banget sampe pitak. Kalo lo ga pernah ngerasain, lo boleh ketawa sampe sini. Karena masalah Trich sebenernya ada di low self esteem dan depresi.

Si A stress >> A berpikir keras soal masalahnya sampai dia ga sadar dia mikir sambil cabutin rambutnya >> sejam kemudian dia baru sadar ada bald patches >> bingung nutupinnya gimana >> malu ketemu orang >> minder >> depresi menyalahkan diri sendiri >> berpikir keras lagi >> trich lagi >> bald patches lagi >> and so on….

Lingkaran setan….

So, bagaimana awalnya gue mulai terjebak di sini?

Dulu waktu masih SD, gue suka nginep di rumah nenek gue dan suka diminta cabutin uban nenek. Katanya gatel banget dan kalo udah dicabut tuh enak. Gue nurut aja dah soalnya gue gaada kerjaan juga. Ya, jadi yang berpikir Nui itu hobinya belajar, nope, gue hobi nyabutin uban.

Then, waktu itu setiap kali rambut gue gatel, gue berpikir, “apakah gue punya uban kaya nenek?” Karena penasaran dan tangan gue terlatih mengenali rambut uban, dengan sotoynya gue cabut rambut gue sendiri. Lalu gue berpikir, “kok item ya? Eh, tapi kok gatelnya berkurang?” Begitu terus sampe waktu berlalu dan gue ngelakuinnya sambil mikir hal-hal lain. Anak bocah namanya juga. Santai aja kagak sadar kalo rambut di ubun-ubunnya udah ilang. Pas diraba, kok ada kulit kepala ya?

Saat itu belum ada kamera hape. Jadi, setelah beberapa kali ga sadar nyabutin rambut tapi akhirnya sadar ada yang aneh, gue mengambil kaca kecil. Dan… syok! Gue yang dasarnya pemalu jadi tambah malu. Mampus gua. Kalo dikata-katain di sekolah gimana? Kalo ayah ibu tau gimana? Kalo ini… kalo itu….

Nui and Trichotillomania

Hello, world! It’s World Mental Health Day!

image from https://wfmh.global/

To participate, I want to share my story about a thing that I don’t know it’s a mental disorder at first. Yes. I never thought that my bad habit has a name. I never go seeing psychologist or psychiatrist. So, I’m actually doing self-diagnosis here. It’s a bad thing, dude. Don’t follow me on this. I think it’s not a burden for me to do daily activity now. So, if your bad habit bothers you A LOT you harm yourself and people around you, please, seek for help! That’s my disclaimer. AND, maybe my post here CAN BE a trigger for some people. If that’s so, stop reading this especially if you find this disturbing.

What is Trichotillomania?

The definition from NHS :

Trichotillomania, also known as trich, is when someone can’t resist the urge to pull out their hair.

You can find more information here >> https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/trichotillomania/

Yeah, that’s trichotillomania. You can’t stop and after doing that, it’s so satisfying somehow. Weird, isn’t it? The problem is when you realize your hair has gone A LOT and you have bald patches. If you don’t know how it feels, really, you can laugh now. The true evil is the low self esteem and depression.

Person A is stressing out >> A is thinking so hard and A didn’t notice he/she pulling his/her hair for the time being >> An hour later A finally notice there are bald patches >> A don’t have any idea to hide it >> it makes he/she feeling so ashamed and avoiding people around him/her >> low self esteem >> depression >> self blaming >> thinking about what he/she did again >> more trich >> more bald patches >> and so on….

Vicious circle….

So, what about me? How did I trap here?

When I was in elementary school, I used to sleep over with my Grandma and I often asked to pull out my Grandma’s grey hair. She said it’s so itchy and got better when the hair’s gone. I obeyed here since I didn’t have anything to do.

Then, every time my head felt so itchy, I’d think, “Do I have grey hair too, like Grandma?” Out of my curiosity, I pulled my own hair for the sake of finding grey hair.  After awhile, I’d think again, “Black hair? Why? Um, but the itchiness a lil bit gone, huh?” An hour or so passed. I pulled my hair and thought about various things. Oh such a child. Never thought that her hair in the top of her head was gone. I felt my head with my fingertips, “Is that head skin?”

That time, there’s no camera phone. So, after several times doing that stupid thing, I noticed there’s something wrong with my head, I grabbed a little mirror, and… shocked! Me, this super shy lil kid became more and more shy and ashamed. Oh, I’m dead! What if my schoolmate know this and bully me? What if my mom and dad know about this? What if….

Nui and Karawang

OH MY GOD, it’s been a year!

Lama juga ga nulis di blog ini lagi

Awal tahun ini gue baru saja resign dari kantor

Gue ngerasa udah cukup lama gue kerja disitu dan ga berkembang kebanyakan gabut *eh

Tempat gue kerja juga cukup jauh dari Jakarta

Dan gue lagi banyak yang harus diurus di Jakarta

Jadi males juga bolak balik tiap minggu dan harus cuti di hari biasa

Daripada gue jadi ga fokus dan sakit-sakitan, mending gue menetap di Jakarta

Yak, itu sepenggal motif gue resign dari kantor

Di Karawang sebenernya hidup gue enak si, ga terlalu stress dan lingkungannya juga udah kaya Cibubur, akses kemana-mana lumayan gampang tapi yah, that’s my final decision

Di postingan kali ini gue mau list seluk beluk kota Karawang yang udah jadi tempat singgah gue selama 2 tahun

How to get to my office

From Jakarta to Karawang

Biasanya, gue ke Karawang hari Minggu sore atau hari Senin pagi

Kalo gue lagi pergi ke luar gitu hari Minggu, gue bakalan langsung balik ke Karawang sore itu juga instead of balik ke rumah

Karena kalo gue balik ke rumah, gue bakalan capek sendiri dan ga mampu bangun subuh terus akhirnya gue masuk angin, sakit, kesiangan dll

Dari rumah biasanya gue gojek biar cepet lalu naik mobil

Nah naik mobilnya ini ada beberapa opsi sebenernya

Gue bisa aja ke Kampung Rambutan yang lebih deket dari rumah tapiii gue nanti jadinya naik Agramas atau Warga Baru

Mereka lebih murah si (Rp 16000an) tapi nunggunya lama dan pasti penuuuh banget

Gue pernah naik Agramas Minggu sore dan itu penuh banget harus berdiri

Saat itu gue bawa laptop juga jadi yah, malesin bat kan

Nui and Animal Assay Research

Hi!

I wanna tell you about my research for my undergraduate thesis.

The title is :

Intervention of Coffee Beverage with Addition of Mahogany (Swietenia mahagoni Jacq.) Seed Extract to Alloxan-induced Wistar Rats

Ngg.. it’s as complicated as it sounds. I’ve been through the ups and downs. 

So, for you, who just wanna start a research with the animal assay, I have some tips.

They are tips, not a lecture. And I’m not a lecturer, of course.

Let’s get it started!

Listen and ask your professor or supervisor

Before you start any research, just make sure that your supervisor agrees with your idea. If the idea is theirs, ask a lot the main idea, topics, methods, requirements, etc. When you and your supervisors are not in the same thought, you will suffer by yourself. They’re not. They already have their graduate certificate, right?